Site search
sponsored by
Home
News
If I could get my micro organisms to excrete acetic acid we would finally have a bio-based fuel to displace fossil fuels, and could say adios to the Middle East forever. But bathtub-bioengineering is not my strong suit, so I guess I'll stick to what I know best, lifeguarding at Dig Me Beach.
As it happens, this time of year people stay out of the water, so I have plenty of time to sit up here in my tower, and think. Sometimes I have too much time to think, so I just lay back and take a well-deserved nap. They say people who nap live longer, though that's really not one of my goals. No, today, I feel like challenging myself with a metaphysical question like, "Suppose I were a dollar, where would I like to be spent?"
Well, first off, I would have to think I would be best spent on flowers for my mother; that would always be my first choice. Next, I would have to say the New York Times. After that, as there are no Dollar Stores in our neighborhood, I would have to start making some hard decisions.
First of all, what kind of dollar would I like to be? Well, I know I'd like to be a silver dollar - a Morgan silver dollar, minted in Carson City from Virginia City silver; that way I could be historically sound, and at the same time be worth more than a dollar.
Now that I'm worth more than a dollar, I could invest in the Google of China, Tencent, it's selling for less than five dollars a share, or, on second thought, maybe I'd be better off staying closer to home and investing in geothermal energy. Of course, there's always the possibility of doubling my net worth by placing a sound bet: UNR against New Mexico State!
I suppose if I were to invest in one thing that could give me an advantage it would have to be an alarm clock. If you get up early and out the door early, well, you've got a leg up on the competition, or so they say.
Maybe I'll go to Ethiopia and join Jimmy Carter's war on river blindness. One dollar there could provide enough Mectizan to kill the worms that start out in the intestine and end up in the eyes of the unsuspecting Ethiopian. As Woodrow Wilson suggested back in 1902, "Let us ponder our duties like men of conscience, and temper our ambitions like men who seek to serve, not subdue, the world."
Perhaps I'll pay a visit to the Penny Slot Room at the Mark Twain Casino, or go for the gusto and spring for a deviled egg at the Grog & Grist. Chris Costalupes is making them these days, and he's free with the paprika.
Or I could pitch in and help restore the outbuildings of the historic Chollar Mine that burned down in Virginia City. On Saturday, Feb. 24, they're holding a fundraiser at Piper's Opera House.
John Tyson, my favorite Nevada man, and Squeek Lavake, my favorite Nevada lady, will be entertaining, along with the Chix-C-Dicks, my favorite, well, whatever.
On the other hand, as a dollar, I might just sit up here in my lifeguard tower and mature...try to mature.
McAvoy Layne lives in Incline Village and visits schools throughout Nevada as the ghost of Mark Twain.
As it happens, this time of year people stay out of the water, so I have plenty of time to sit up here in my tower, and think. Sometimes I have too much time to think, so I just lay back and take a well-deserved nap. They say people who nap live longer, though that's really not one of my goals. No, today, I feel like challenging myself with a metaphysical question like, "Suppose I were a dollar, where would I like to be spent?"
Well, first off, I would have to think I would be best spent on flowers for my mother; that would always be my first choice. Next, I would have to say the New York Times. After that, as there are no Dollar Stores in our neighborhood, I would have to start making some hard decisions.
First of all, what kind of dollar would I like to be? Well, I know I'd like to be a silver dollar - a Morgan silver dollar, minted in Carson City from Virginia City silver; that way I could be historically sound, and at the same time be worth more than a dollar.
Now that I'm worth more than a dollar, I could invest in the Google of China, Tencent, it's selling for less than five dollars a share, or, on second thought, maybe I'd be better off staying closer to home and investing in geothermal energy. Of course, there's always the possibility of doubling my net worth by placing a sound bet: UNR against New Mexico State!
I suppose if I were to invest in one thing that could give me an advantage it would have to be an alarm clock. If you get up early and out the door early, well, you've got a leg up on the competition, or so they say.
Maybe I'll go to Ethiopia and join Jimmy Carter's war on river blindness. One dollar there could provide enough Mectizan to kill the worms that start out in the intestine and end up in the eyes of the unsuspecting Ethiopian. As Woodrow Wilson suggested back in 1902, "Let us ponder our duties like men of conscience, and temper our ambitions like men who seek to serve, not subdue, the world."
Perhaps I'll pay a visit to the Penny Slot Room at the Mark Twain Casino, or go for the gusto and spring for a deviled egg at the Grog & Grist. Chris Costalupes is making them these days, and he's free with the paprika.
Or I could pitch in and help restore the outbuildings of the historic Chollar Mine that burned down in Virginia City. On Saturday, Feb. 24, they're holding a fundraiser at Piper's Opera House.
John Tyson, my favorite Nevada man, and Squeek Lavake, my favorite Nevada lady, will be entertaining, along with the Chix-C-Dicks, my favorite, well, whatever.
On the other hand, as a dollar, I might just sit up here in my lifeguard tower and mature...try to mature.
McAvoy Layne lives in Incline Village and visits schools throughout Nevada as the ghost of Mark Twain.
