News
INCLINE VILLAGE, Nev. — This woman makes me feel like a banana slug, no, an amoeba. Felicity Aston took off on November 25 to cross the South Pole, 1,084 miles, alone. She hauled two sledges behind her. I don't know what a sledge is, and I don't want to know. I suppose in her sledges she carried her pajamas, polar bear repellent, some dynamite to blow holes in the ice to fish, and a deck of cards to play solitaire, I don't know.
As Felicity approached her destination of Hercules Inlet two weeks ago, and could finally see the finish line, well, we'll let her tell it. “When I saw the coastal mountains that marked my end point for the first time, I literally just stopped in my tracks and bawled my eyes out.”
Are you kidding me? This girl makes Snowshoe Thompson look like a total slacker. Snowshoe Thompson, now there was a man. From 1856-76 Snowshoe carried the mail 90 miles between Hangtown and Genoa on 10 foot, 25 lb. oak skis, carrying a pack that weighed 100 pounds, and he did it in three days time. He wore a Mackinaw jacket, a wide rimmed hat, and covered his face in charcoal to prevent snow blindness. He carried no blanket, but he did carry matches to start fires, and his bible. He snacked on dried sausage, jerked beef, crackers, and biscuits. When a storm kept him from proceeding he would find a flat rock, clear it of snow, and perform old Norwegian folk dances until it passed. When he came upon a pack of wolves feeding on a carcass he would stop, stare them down, then be on his way. He didn't care much about wolves.
Snowshoe was once clocked at 55 miles an hour and his longest jump was measured to be 180 feet, and this was in the 1870's.
But now look at Felicity Aston. She skied 59 days through biting wind and snow with nobody to bitch to! She was promised, get this, a hot shower and a glass of red wine if she made it. Hey, if the Queen of England does not knight Felicity Aston, and I'm sure she will if she has a heart beneath that ridiculous crown of hers, I shall personally invite Felicity to become an honorary member of the Nevada Never-Sweats. One of our members once crossed the Alps to rout the Roman armies before Christ, at least he said he did. Guy Rocha (Rex Veritas) challenged him on that boast, but was shouted down.
I guess my point is, Felicity Aston is proof positive that we are not all getting soft as human beings. There are a few out there, perhaps more than a few, who are still willing and eager to demonstrate how indomitable the spirit of humankind can be, and I for one would like to thank Felicity for the inspiration, though to be frank, I would rather try to swim across Tahoe than attempt to cross the South Pole alone.
— Learn more about McAvoy Layne as the Ghost of Twain at ghostoftwain.org.
As Felicity approached her destination of Hercules Inlet two weeks ago, and could finally see the finish line, well, we'll let her tell it. “When I saw the coastal mountains that marked my end point for the first time, I literally just stopped in my tracks and bawled my eyes out.”
Are you kidding me? This girl makes Snowshoe Thompson look like a total slacker. Snowshoe Thompson, now there was a man. From 1856-76 Snowshoe carried the mail 90 miles between Hangtown and Genoa on 10 foot, 25 lb. oak skis, carrying a pack that weighed 100 pounds, and he did it in three days time. He wore a Mackinaw jacket, a wide rimmed hat, and covered his face in charcoal to prevent snow blindness. He carried no blanket, but he did carry matches to start fires, and his bible. He snacked on dried sausage, jerked beef, crackers, and biscuits. When a storm kept him from proceeding he would find a flat rock, clear it of snow, and perform old Norwegian folk dances until it passed. When he came upon a pack of wolves feeding on a carcass he would stop, stare them down, then be on his way. He didn't care much about wolves.
Snowshoe was once clocked at 55 miles an hour and his longest jump was measured to be 180 feet, and this was in the 1870's.
But now look at Felicity Aston. She skied 59 days through biting wind and snow with nobody to bitch to! She was promised, get this, a hot shower and a glass of red wine if she made it. Hey, if the Queen of England does not knight Felicity Aston, and I'm sure she will if she has a heart beneath that ridiculous crown of hers, I shall personally invite Felicity to become an honorary member of the Nevada Never-Sweats. One of our members once crossed the Alps to rout the Roman armies before Christ, at least he said he did. Guy Rocha (Rex Veritas) challenged him on that boast, but was shouted down.
I guess my point is, Felicity Aston is proof positive that we are not all getting soft as human beings. There are a few out there, perhaps more than a few, who are still willing and eager to demonstrate how indomitable the spirit of humankind can be, and I for one would like to thank Felicity for the inspiration, though to be frank, I would rather try to swim across Tahoe than attempt to cross the South Pole alone.
— Learn more about McAvoy Layne as the Ghost of Twain at ghostoftwain.org.
